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The Decoder Series

Resources

A note from Jennifer: the book holds the timeless wisdom: the safety planning, the therapist questions, the signs of healing. This page holds what changes: phone numbers, hotlines, apps, communities, organizations. Print can’t be updated. This page can. If you are in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services or a domestic violence hotline in your country. Then come back here.

This page is reviewed quarterly. Last checked 2026-09-21, against each organization’s own site: the United States crisis lines, the Deaf and hard of hearing routes, and Trans Lifeline’s numbers and hours were all confirmed current. The international and regional lines below were not re-verified on that date and are the first thing to check at the next review.

Crisis Resources

Immediate Help (24/7): United States

If you are in immediate danger, call your local emergency number.

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788, TTY 1-800-787-3224. 24/7 support and safety planning. The text line is theirs, not a general one, and it is silent.
  • Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741741. 24/7 text-based crisis support, and silent if you are being overheard.
  • 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988. 24/7 suicide prevention.
  • RAINN (Sexual Assault): 1-800-656-4673, or text HOPE to 64673. 24/7 sexual assault support. Also reachable on Signal, with no account or personal details.
  • National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453. 24/7 child abuse support.
  • StrongHearts Native Helpline: 1-844-762-8483. 24/7 culturally appropriate support for Native survivors.

Deaf / Hard of Hearing:

LGBTQ+-Specific

Hours vary, and they are given per line. If it is the middle of the night, start with The Trevor Project or The Network/La Red.

  • The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386, or text START to 678-678. 24/7. LGBTQ+ youth crisis.
  • The Network/La Red: 617-742-4911. 24/7. LGBTQ+ and polyamorous partner abuse.
  • Trans Lifeline: US 1-877-565-8860, Canada 1-877-330-6366. Monday to Friday, 10am to 6pm Pacific. Peer-run by and for trans people.
  • LGBT National Hotline: 1-888-843-4564. Limited hours; check before you rely on it. All ages, information and local resources.
  • GLBT National Youth Talkline: 1-800-246-7743. Limited hours; check before you rely on it. Under 25.
  • FORGE: 414-559-2123. Transgender-specific anti-violence.
International

English-speaking countries

Latin America

  • Mexico · Línea de la Vida: 800 911 2000
  • Mexico · INMUJERES: 800 911 2511
  • Argentina · Línea 144: 144
  • Brazil · Ligue 180: 180
  • Colombia · Línea 155: 155
  • Chile · Fono Familia (Carabineros): 149

Asia & Pacific

Africa & Middle East

International directories

Online Crisis Support

Other Ways to Reach Help

If in doubt, go in person. Your local hospital, pharmacy, fire department, or police station. Walk in and ask for help. Any of them can make the call for you.

If you are outside the United States. Search for “domestic violence helpline” with your country name. Most countries have a national line; many have one specifically for people who are not citizens.

If you can reach a person. A family doctor, a midwife, a school nurse, a pharmacist, a social worker, a union representative. Any of them can make the call you cannot make, and none of them needs you to have evidence first.

You are not overreacting by calling any of these. Nobody who has ever called one of these numbers was told they should not have.

Culturally-Specific Resources

Black / African-American survivors
Asian survivors (East, South, Southeast)
Indigenous / Native survivors
Middle Eastern / Arab / SWANA survivors
Jewish survivors
Religious-exit and spiritual abuse
  • Evangelical / Protestant: Tears of Eden, Give Her Wings, Faithtrust Institute
  • Mormon / LDS: Sound Choices Coalition, ex-LDS peer networks
  • Jehovah’s Witnesses: Advocates for Awareness of Watchtower Abuses (AAWA)
  • Catholic: spiritual abuse recovery groups, annulment-aware pastoral support
  • Cross-tradition: Recovering from Religion, Hotline Project
Transgender-specific
Male survivors
  • 1in6, 1in6.org
  • MaleSurvivor, malesurvivor.org
  • ManKind Initiative (UK), 01823 334244
  • Men’s Advice Line (UK), 0808 8010327
Disabled / Deaf survivors
Immigrant survivors
  • USCIS VAWA Self-Petition (allows survivors to petition independently of abuser)
  • U-Visa (qualifying-crime survivors who assist law enforcement)
  • T-Visa (trafficking survivors)
  • National Immigrant Women’s Advocacy Project, niwap.org
  • Asian Pacific Institute on Gender-Based Violence, 415-954-9988

Most US DV services do not report to immigration authorities. Children born in the US have citizenship regardless of parents’ status. Abusers’ deportation threats are a control tactic. There are legal protections.

Finding Professional Help

Therapist directories
Modalities to look for

EMDR, somatic experiencing, Internal Family Systems (IFS), DBT, trauma-focused CBT, polyvagal-informed therapy.

Questions to ask a potential therapist
  1. What’s your experience with narcissistic abuse / coercive control?
  2. Are you familiar with gaslighting, trauma bonding, DARVO?
  3. What modalities do you use for trauma?
  4. How do you work with clients setting firm boundaries with family?
  5. What’s your approach if a client is considering no-contact with a family member?
Red flags
  • Pushes reconciliation without understanding the dynamics
  • Minimizes the experience
  • Suggests “forgive and forget”
  • Unfamiliar with narcissistic abuse patterns
  • Makes you feel judged for your choices

Support Communities

Online
  • r/NarcissisticAbuse: survivor community
  • r/raisedbynarcissists: children of narcissistic parents
  • r/NarcAbuseAndDivorce: divorce / co-parenting
  • r/LifeAfterNarcissism: recovery focus
  • Out of the FOG forum, outofthefog.net
In-person / hybrid
  • Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA), coda.org
  • Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families (ACA), adultchildren.org
  • Local DV organizations (most run free support groups)
If substance use is part of it

Chapter 4 of The Narcissism Decoder names these four and sends you here for the details.

  • LawHelp.org, free legal help by state
  • WomensLaw.org, legal info for survivors
  • Local Legal Aid Society: free legal services
  • Local bar association: pro bono / reduced fee referrals
  • Law school clinics: supervised legal help at low cost
Co-parenting documentation
Documentation practice

Save texts, emails, voicemails. Keep a dated incident journal. Take screenshots and back up to a cloud account the abuser can’t access. Note witnesses.

Financial Resources

Emergency
  • 211 (call or text in the US): local emergency assistance
  • TANF (Temporary Assistance for Needy Families)
  • SNAP (food assistance)
  • Local churches & community organizations: emergency funds
Building independence
Financial education
  • Financial Peace University
  • Local credit union financial counseling
  • MyMoney.gov

Apps & Tools

Meditation / grounding

  • Insight Timer (free)
  • Calm
  • Headspace
  • Breathe2Relax (free)

Mood tracking

  • Daylio
  • Moodfit
  • eMoods

Documentation / safety

  • DocuSAFE: secure abuse documentation
  • Aspire News: disguised safety app
  • 1Password / Bitwarden: separate password manager the abuser doesn’t know exists

Journaling

  • Day One
  • Penzu (encrypted)

Educational Resources

Podcasts
  • Navigating Narcissism, Dr. Ramani Durvasula
  • Understanding Today’s Narcissist, Christine Hammond
  • The Healing Journey, Stephanie Lyn
  • Mental Healness
  • Narcissist Apocalypse
YouTube
  • Dr. Ramani
  • Surviving Narcissism, Dr. Les Carter
  • Inner Integration, Meredith Miller
  • Stephanie Lyn Coaching
  • The Little Shaman
Websites

For books: see the bibliography.

If You Can’t Afford Help

You don’t need money to begin healing. The core work is internal, and free.

  • This book and its companion workbook: re-read, do the exercises
  • Public library: most books in the bibliography are available free
  • Free crisis lines (all listed above)
  • Free YouTube education
  • Insight Timer (free meditations)
  • Walking, journaling, peer support: free
  • 12-step programs (CoDA, ACA): free
  • Community mental health: sliding scale or free
  • University training clinics: supervised therapy at very low cost

Your healing matters. Your freedom matters. You matter.